Saturday, 20 November 2010

I need to lie down...

There's a scene in the movie, 'As Good as it Gets', where Jack Nicholson's character says: "Go sell crazy somewhere else; we're all filled up here".

Jack could well have been talking about Bristol.

Today, on a crisp but sunny Friday, the following crazy-ass things happened to me:

  1. Just after 8.00am, while walking to work, I saw a drug deal going down. And no, I'm not imaginging the bag of white powder that changed hands – I was stopped at the traffic lights for a good few minutes where anyone with a functioning pair of retinas would have witnessed it.

  2. I had to swerve to avoid a used condom, two piles of vomit and a junkie beggar whose efforts at elicting cash were severely disadvantaged by the fact that his eyes kept rolling back into his head.

  3. On a lunchtime mission to seek solace for a hacking cough, two window cleaners invited me into their white van, promising it would be “the best hour I'd spend this week”.

  4. On the way home, I saw a man drive his car into a concrete pole, back it up and do it again.

  5. But perhaps the biggest surprise of the day was getting home to find that the bitch landlady had laid new carpet – and it wasn't totally heinous.

There's only so much excitement a girl can handle.

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