Monday 3 June 2013

A day off

Dear Queenie,

It's nothing personal, but I don't really like you. Or your pimped up, over-privileged whanau. I was in the UK not so long ago - I know how much ordinary folk there are suffering. You and your elitist family are an expense a nation already on its knees can ill afford.

And please don't bang on about being a tourist drawcard - no-one comes to the UK to see you or your band of expensive wastrels. They come to experience the pomp and majesty of centuries of history; remove you from the equation and they and their wallets will still come.

Just this morning as I ate my museli, I watched a doco about your ancestors and their appalling treatment of poor old Mary, Queen of Scots. A nasty business, that. The good folk of your cold, rainy isles should have seen the writing on the wall back then and stamped out the monarchy, saving themselves centuries of pain and ridiculous servitude.

As for the notion that we in the colonies remain tethered to the 'Motherland' 12,000 miles away, well that's as outmoded as floppy discs. But until the great Republican machine can slice though those ties, we're stuck with one another. The one saving grace is that we get a day off for your birthday (is that even today?)

If I wanted to be churlish, I'd complain about how, as an hourly-rate contractor, you've cost me quite a bit today. But hey, a day off is a day off, so thanks for the opportunity to sleep in, finish one of my overdue Seoul stories, take the dog for a walk and drink red wine.

Just please don't ask me to sing Happy Birthday...

    (Pic credit:


  1. Well said, Shaz.

    Although I'm not going to complain about a day off!

    Hope you had a good one

    Mel xox

  2. Hey hon, yes a day off is nowt to be sneezed at - eps when there isnt another public holiday for months now!

    Hope all good in your world




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